It’s Okay to Say No
October 30th, 2025
Writer: Emmylou Ethan
Editor: Sophia Wohl
I used to think being “easy to love” meant always saying yes. The girl who was down for whatever, who never complained, someone who never wanted to make things more complicated. Yes to the plans I didn’t really want to go to; yes to the favor that took hours out of my day. I was scared of the word no, afraid it would make me seem difficult, distant, or rude.
The word no carries more weight than it should. To me, it always sounded a little too aggressive, it shocks people when you say it. It turns out once you are typically the one who says yes to everything, no doesn’t come as naturally. It's like a lump in your throat, it feels awkward on your tongue. It lands heavy, like you’ve just disappointed someone or even yourself.
But recently I have started to view the word differently. No is not intended to be harsh, it's honest. It is one of the most revealing words we have; it allows us to make space for ourselves, and what we truly want. I’ve started to work on transforming the word from a rejection to a boundary.
This two-letter word allows us to give people the real version of us, not the version stretched thin and exhausted, hiding behind a hesitant and soulless yes. It allows us to give a genuine yes, to the things, people, and experiences that deserve our full presence, attention, and love. No teaches us that our time, energy, and the love we have to give matters, and that protecting that ideal is not selfish, but necessary.
That’s why putting yourself first takes precedence. It’s not an automatic skill, but it is something worth learning. When people say no to me now, I rarely take it personally, but I do notice it. I notice the confidence it takes, and how I can learn. There’s a certain respect that comes with seeing someone choose themselves. It’s admirable when someone values their own time and peace enough to protect it, as well as make that clear to others.
I’m still learning to choose myself, even when it feels so uncomfortable. But don’t get me wrong, the loud urge to say yes just to be liked by others doesn’t just disappear overnight. It still shows up in the moments when the last thing I want to do is disappoint others. But now I notice it and I pause. More often than not, I choose to change my words. Maybe that’s what growth really is, catching yourself, and choosing the scary word no, if it means saying yes to yourself.