Giving Into Peer Pressure
October 22nd, 2025
Writer: Nicolette Peremen
Editor: Sophia Wohl
Growing up, we were taught that peer pressure was synonymous with danger—an external force that drove us to engage in hazardous conduct. This peril was primarily tied to narcotics or risky judgments. It was continuously repeated that we should “say no to drugs.” Nevertheless, as I entered my teens, and am now soon to reach adulthood, it has become evident that peer pressure is far more complex than our youth’s cautionary tales. Peer pressure is not about being compelled to do something blatantly wrong; rather, it is about the subtle, ongoing pressure to become someone you are not.
This form of social persuasion does not present itself with bold ultimatums or explicit threats. In contrast, it sneaks right under our noses, where social cues and expectations act as scapegoats. We adjust our vocal tonality to fit the situation or conceal our reactions for fear of controversy. There is a never ending internal battle between who we are and who we are expected to be. Over time, little acts are exaggerated, making it impossible to identify ourselves under the changes. The real risk is not a lapse in our character, but the slow and gradual losing of our identities when we choose belonging instead of being.
The pernicious aspect of this kind of pressure is that it often seems as though we are being developed or matured. We rationalize it as flexibility, a willingness to get along, or a calculated compromise. But there is a difference between growing and disappearing. Real growth comes from a place of awareness and choice, and is not based on fear of anguish or desire for approval. Changing ourselves for another is not growth—it is diminishment. In its existence, we lose our voice, our assurance, and our overarching sense of self.
It took me far too long to realize the toll this type of abidance was having on my life. I found myself surrounded by individuals whose approval I sought but whose principles I did not share. I laughed at jokes that I did not find funny–in fact, a lot of them made me quite uncomfortable. I nodded along with viewpoints that contradicted my beliefs, and silenced pieces of myself that were previously exposed and vivacious. I convinced myself that I wanted to emulate the lives of the same individuals who belittled my dreams, ignored my boundaries, or mocked my differences. As much as anyone will hate to admit it, I think we are all guilty of this. Ironically, we are all the same in that manner. All of us, at some point or another have conformed to the version we thought others expected of us. Do I think it is a crime? No. But do I think there are people who continue to minimize you despite being all too familiar with societal conformity pressures? Absolutely.
The harsh truth is, their acceptance of a falsified version of myself was never worth the cost of my peace. No one who has ever tried to make me feel small has possessed a life I admire. I became a much happier and more genuine version of myself when I started giving my time to individuals who valued authenticity over conformity. Staying true to yourself in a world that values sameness more than radicalism becomes the most radical act. And it is that kind of authenticity which, when cultivated, can become a subtle act of defiance.
Peer pressure is not just about what others ask of us—it is about what we are willing to surrender. When we choose to hold onto ourselves, even in the face of opposition, we reclaim something far more valuable than popularity: we reclaim our power.
